Thoughts......

Will be starting internship again around next week, yet I have not buy any attires for myself yet. Well, I am or in fact always looking forward to work for this company but somehow I think I am over-stress and worry this and that. I know I am a person who think a lot lol, no doubt..No matter how, I have to get myself office wears and stuff I needed for working by weekend >.<"

A new week started with happy or unhappy?? I really don't know..Life is still like that. Yeah holidays supposed to be fun and happy, enjoy and crazy around.. Haha but for me, I don't feel any especially this summer holidays.

I did nothing and I have no strength to do what I want because I think I have lost myself somehow. During holidays, I helped my friends a lot with their problems and god bless they will be alright. You guys will get it done soon yea, don't worry!

Just a short 1 1/2 week of listening to people's doubts and my own self, I realise life really getting harder because you don't know when it's true or when it's wrong; Will they appreciate or just ignore and think you're just a say..Reality?? Haiz I really don't know..I am not emo but just a thought where I faced right now.

助人为乐,不求任何回报..但是有时侯帮了人,又尽全力去帮了,他又这样的对我..难道我从开始就错了?? Not to say I am sad or what, just that whenever this happen to me, I feel no good. But seeing it, if I don't do, I feel uncomfortable..So miserable!!

1st week of Summer Vacation~

Well, the vacation started with no exciting because everyone was still having exam and some went back to hometown right after exam. I started to work on monday. I feel so tired and hard while starting so fast and I know nothing lol.

As I have planned to travel lots of place, but all also can't work at the end because friends don't want to go and family also like very lazy, bla bla bla..Haiz..Once working, I went to work early of the morning and came back for dinner, rest a while, sleep already..Not enough time lor..

However, even I have more time for myself, I feel bored and waste time because I have nothing to do. Facebook has get me into bored as I don't play game; Everyday MSN also getting bored because no one chat with and also waiting friends to online and chat haiz..Why so dull during holidays?? =(

I want to go shopping to buy new things for myself! I want to go for movies as there're a few more new ones coming up! I want to karaoke, I miss singing!!! Long time didn't play sport de, feel like go once and sweat it all out =)

I have got one thing wanna do hahaha..Guess what?? I think I have gained weight just one week holidays, erm in fact started from before exam, because I eat a lot to release stress LOL..So, I need to do more exercise and diet a bit..Want a nice body shape and look nice kekeke~~Somemore got a lot of pimples and marks on my face >.<" I need to cure it =.= So, decided to do more exercise, eat healthy & organic food and self-treatment on my face wahahahaha...

Just feel not comfortable everyday. I want someone beside me, comfort me, let me manja and talk to me =( But I know it won't happen so soon lar...

Now, 9+pm only, I'm still so bored haiz..Sometimes feel that having assignments are good in fact, because they occupied your time and you can learn more knowledge..When you have a lot assignments, you wish to have holidays..LOL so contradict man!

The 1st dull and boring vacation is going to end! Hope there're fun and joy in the coming week =)Coming week dates as follow:

- Teach my friend to do handcraft
- Date with yoke fen, twins and foong yee (my secondary bestie!)
- Shop for new attires for working
- and....(nothing yet hmmm..)

Words......

Have not been blogging about a week plus, because of final exam!

Overall for this semester's exam was okay. For Marketing, it was a great paper I ever had but the thing is we need more time to do lor. It is too many to write but time constraint. For Business Law, well, the paper is interesting but somehow some part is really hard to apply the facts there but overall still okay. For Money Cap, it was a great paper too. I love the objectives questions, why?? Because most of it are from the mcq she gave, as for short questions, still okay, just that my brain go sesak, suddenly can forgot what to write >.<" Lastly, accounting paper was great although some part I don't really know how to do but overall good. I think I forgot to put in 2 accounts into the income statement..Stupid me =S

Expectation for the result:
~Marketing: HD
~Business Law: Credit or Distinction
~Money Cap: Distinction
~Accounting: Distinction or HD



Went to watch "2012" with Joeanne, Jason and Kenny yesterday afternoon. I was late to cinema ooaps! My apologise! Kena fine by Jason =P Just kidding haha^^ Well, it was an awesome movie. It is a movie talking about the world.



Sitting in the cinema for more than 2 hours, watching this movie, I started to worry about the world. I am scared the world will become like that one day seriously. I scared to lose my family, my beloved friends and everything that I care of. It makes me think negatively but in the sense of giving me a hint that I should grab the chances that I have in front of my eyes, I should do whatever things that I want, help the people who need helps and lots lots more. Life is about how to you processed it with your capability. Within the movie time, it reminds me how I planned for the journey where I wanted to be with him from now and to the future but it had all become rubbish because he left.

To you, my baby:

I don't know what had gone wrong in between as you don't even wanna to talk about it nicely and just think that everything is correct from what the rumors said. But do you know the real thing and how I suffered? I doubt you know. You have being cold to me for weeks, I started to worry that you will left me because I started to love you more as I gained my confidence by having your love to me. You show me your love, your care, me in your heart. You touches my heart and healed my depression, melt off my sadness and grown all happiness. But why you can suddenly to become like that??!! I understand that you still missed your past, so do I..I didn't blame you, force you, pressure you, fight with you, slap you or scold you because you still think about her. You know why? Because I love you!

I know to love someone, when comes to let go, it isn't an easy thing to do. If it's easy to let go means you are don't love enough or you totally don't love. I believe this is very true. When we started, we have agreed to comfort each other when think about the past. Yes, we did it! And I can see that you don't like me to keep in touch with my past because you know he will hurt me and so you show me how important of me in your heart.

Because of you, I changed myself to be a better person for you! I know your hobby-fishing, I have made up my mind to learn fishing so that I have in common with you although I know it's not what I like. Because of you, I have indulge myself into songs that you loved and songs that can represent what our heart wanna say. I really interpreted each and every songs that you loved. Because of you, I have became even more ambitious than previous because I can imagine or in fact can see how our future will be..I wanna study hard and get a good job. Also, study hard in order to help you in your business. I wanna be your best angel!I wanna be the one who can help you in any way and be the one you need for every moment! I always give you 10001% moral support for your working because I know you care how people think about you although you told me you are not.

Because of you, I willing to suffered your ignorant although I had once thought of giving up in this relationship but I believe that we are still love each other. I also know that you are suffering of thinking your past and having insomnia. I have done lots of research to see what I can do to solve your problem. I don't wanna see you everyday with the stress body to work! Besides that, I wanna help you to cure or at least reduced your sinus after I'm done with my exam. Moreover, I know you are a homey boy. You said you want me to cook for you. I have decided to learn cooking from my mum and buy cooking books to learn. I remember I owe you cookies as well.. Because I know you are too stress over work and thinking of the past, I have planned few trips to go with you so that I can spend more time with you and show my love to you. I know at the start, I was too busy with my club and socities work and so because of you, I willing to cut down my activities and balance up my time.

Everything I do and I planned to do, all are just for you, my baby! Do you know it?? The last conversation that we had, the way you talked to me, it was so hurt ='( You kept bomb me about what you heard from someone and put all anger to me. But I really don't know what happened and I seriously have no idea about it at all! And don't even wanna talked about it nicely and let me know what happened and just gone like that. Do you know how hurt it is and how depressed am I? I wondered who is the "someone".

I can't do anything now because I don't know how and I know you won't even give a damn to listen it. I have a great plan for your birthday but now you have destroyed it..I wanted to have a nice talk with you and wanna know what exactly happened. I don't mind we are not getting back together for the moment but just to know what makes you become like that??!! I still concerned about you! Do you know, everytime I passed by, walked by and looked at the place we went, listened to the songs we listened together, the songs you sent to me, I just can't stop myself from crying.

After all these happened, even I know I need someone especially you to be by my side, however, I lost my direction, I lost my sense, I lost my thoughts T.T I'm not dare to get into a relationship anymore. I'm sorry to reject those who asked me for relationship! I still love him and I have no more confidence in relationship =(

The last words that I wanna say to you now: I love you, baby!



Will continue tomorrow! It's the time to sleep, I have to work tomorrow..Wish me all the best for my new job =) Hope it goes well! Goodnight ^^

How am I going to remember all the points huh?? I'm trying hard to study money cap and concentrate with it but seems I keep worry about am I able to answer during exam >"<

Thanks for people who keep motivating me and give me support! I guess tonight no matter what, I really need to finish up the chapters. The papers are getting nearer, really cannot slack anymore..Wanna score well for law definitely as my assignment is just barely passed, as well as for money cap, I want to score distinction at least =S

Give me more strength and good brain cells pleaseeeee......!!!!!! Stay awake and study....FOCUSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

A few words for you......

Thinking and talked a friend about what had happened recently yesterday night. I don't know what causes it to fade off. Yeah, when we started it's my fault not to put in so much love because I have got the fear-the pain in my heart. You're the one show me your love and cares which slowly bring me in and I started to love you more. Then, you just went off like that.

Yeah, we just started not that long and why am I so loving you. I wondered why when I have no confidence, people give me confidence; when I have confidence, people break it. My heart has been broke for more than thousand times. I know it's a bit arbitrage but my heart will never heal well after breaks..



Because of you, I have think far about us. My parents said they can't afford me to study in australia but will do something to let me go, I choose not to go because of you. I know how hurt you have in your previous, that's why I'm trying to do my best for you. How you feel in the past, I have exactly feeling as you. But I don't think you know right? Haiz..No comments! I have many plans ahead for you..But you just don't give me a chance to tell you and just be as silence like that.

I really didn't know how would the sweet start and gone to questionable ending. I really don't know why it becomes like that. I always the last one to know what happen in between. It's okay. I know and I can see we will not have any further steps to go together anymore although I love you. Anyhow, I know I gotta put you down and wishes you all the best for your future in terms of career and love.

I'm not doubting that you're not a loyal person (don't know how to explain). If there's a girl that you think you're able to hold her, I can only wish you good luck. I will just be a concern friend for you. Because no matter what I wanna do for you, I guess it's nothing worth to you somehow so I choose to let you go. As you trust and listen to rumours more than me, so I have nothing to comment because like what the oldies said "if you didn't do wrong, just keep quiet, the person will know one day". I believe in this phrase. No trust and understand in a relationship will not last long, so yeah I choose to walk off from the relationship as in the pain and hurts. "The old don't go, how will the new one come by?", another oldies phrase =)

Love is so much complicated, sometimes really hard to handle it. I should have a new way of life. Take all the past as experience. I wish I have good results in my exam and work well for my internship later. I want a happy life and would want to have a change of myself. Also, I wish to have a boyfriend who loves me more, care for me from now and then and be by my side when I need him.



11th month of the year has arrived. The past 10 months I have gone through, it's a real hardship for me. I have become a wiser and mature girl. I have learned lots of things. I thank to people who aid throughout my hardship. Specially thanks to Jason and Joeanne, being my guidance! Appreciate you guys =) 2 more months and a brand new year will be coming, I really wish everything I do will go smoothly and what I want and wish to have can come by. God bless me! Without God, family and my beloved friends, I guess I'm gone from here. A big thanks to all!!

Time to catch up with my revision again! ^^ Peace..