I'm feeling better today. Although he smsed me today, he sounds good to me and suddenly go into the keen situation so I wouldn't want to think more about it because if I think, I'm the one will get hurt so I just replied as I can and just let it be natural. I really feel so confused about the matter already so I don't want to put a lot hope but move all hopes to my studies.
Well, tomorrow will be my first day of semester 2. It'll be a brand new start. I have to be consistent in my studies and scored towards my aims. I will want to be a better person. I will remember to be happy. I will remember I cannot get influence by somebody. I will do as much things as I can to help those people in needs especially my loved ones. I will want to live in a happy and comfortable life.
Okay, it's time to sleep. I have morning class tomorrow! =) All the best to Monash-ians!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Going through a bad night yesterday. There's someone who is really sickening and sturborn. I simply don't understand about this fellow. Not to mention his name. This guy will never understand people's feeling and situation as well as his ex-gf also the same, both of them. I feel the frust, miserable and don't know what to do. Don't want to talk about it. Keep on talk about it, then will be more emo.
I feel so stress at home somehow, you know why? Because first I can easily get into the depression mode, second my parents keep nagging me, third when I feel like going for relaxation with friends I can't. Well, I never can be happy at home when I wanna get over my depression and be happy because parents always scold me and nag me. They want me to help them to do work, ok can, I will of course. When I asked, they asked me wait for while, then I wait, after that scold I don't help them la, bla, bla, bla. Going out with friends always restricted, I don't know why, even just a while also can't. Why?? I don't go for parties, clubbing, pub, etc...So don't need to worry, I might just go yum cha or shopping or chit chat with buddies, that's all..
I just feel that this year I can't live happily why?? It seems every week sure got no happiness =( What a depressed and sad life I have right now..How can I walked out from this sad world?? Angels, please save me out!!! I feel so suffer in this situation. I prefer primary and high school life. It was more cheerful, happier, and etc...Sad also sad about result, not others..But now, have to handle so many things, not only studies..I understand that it's a growing stage, but why people can be happy and get one to love them and I'm the opposite?? Sighhh...
Faster back to study so that I have something to do to distract all these..I really can't take it..How I wish I have elder siblings, so that I can share all my sadness with them and got someone guide me =( Haizz....
Sorry for another depressing post again....
I feel so stress at home somehow, you know why? Because first I can easily get into the depression mode, second my parents keep nagging me, third when I feel like going for relaxation with friends I can't. Well, I never can be happy at home when I wanna get over my depression and be happy because parents always scold me and nag me. They want me to help them to do work, ok can, I will of course. When I asked, they asked me wait for while, then I wait, after that scold I don't help them la, bla, bla, bla. Going out with friends always restricted, I don't know why, even just a while also can't. Why?? I don't go for parties, clubbing, pub, etc...So don't need to worry, I might just go yum cha or shopping or chit chat with buddies, that's all..
I just feel that this year I can't live happily why?? It seems every week sure got no happiness =( What a depressed and sad life I have right now..How can I walked out from this sad world?? Angels, please save me out!!! I feel so suffer in this situation. I prefer primary and high school life. It was more cheerful, happier, and etc...Sad also sad about result, not others..But now, have to handle so many things, not only studies..I understand that it's a growing stage, but why people can be happy and get one to love them and I'm the opposite?? Sighhh...
Faster back to study so that I have something to do to distract all these..I really can't take it..How I wish I have elder siblings, so that I can share all my sadness with them and got someone guide me =( Haizz....
Sorry for another depressing post again....
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Well, the july intake's orientation was okay and fun I guess. It's not as pack as mine because usually july intake is less people enrolled than february intake. Nothing much to talk about it as it doesn't really interesting. We brought the newbies for campus tour, it was a tiring one because we were running up and down, left and right of the whole campus.
On wednesday midnight, I started to check out my semester 2's time table. Unfortunately, they arranged me to have class on friday. So, I'm trying to change it but somehow I can't because I want the tutor and his/her other time slots are full and no one moved out, then I have to accept the time, no choice! Overall, my time table is okay. I have only one class on monday, thursday and friday; I have 4 hours straight classes on tuesday =/
Went to chee fei's mummy shop to have lunch and have a meeting for the cross stitch key chains. Done with the cross stitch last week and now gotta make into a key chain. Need more eye energy, hand energy and patients. Will finish all of them by this week if possible, don't want to drag it so long as next week already a new semester and need to do a lot of preparations (can't think of any yet)!!
My semester 1's result has released around 6pm just now! Okay, my result was okay, all pass and no fail. I got distinction for accounting and management, credit for business&economic stats and microeconomics. I really thought I got high distinction for my accounting >.< and distinction for business&economic stats and microeconomies. All my expectations were 'out' haiz, but at least better than those who got failed. I feel so sad for them. For my friends who scored all HDs and those who nearly got full HDs, congratulations, you guys did a great job. I think I'll need your help hahaha..No worries, maybe because I have too much of distractions, that's why I didn't score what I want..It's okay, I will try my best and work hard for this semester and get a better result =P
Okay, will not think about it anymore. It's all over and I can't do anything to make my result to be all HDs though. Just telling myself, I already tried my best so nothing to be sad because sometimes it's all depends on our luck. At least all pass and no fail, I'm lucky enough, so don't demand and blame myself so much. Just look forward, don't look back...We have to go through hardships and failures then we'll only success..Hope I won't feel bad now =/
Stop all the depressing and emo-ing words! Should start a brand new life and semester like what kelly said. SMILE =D New goals coming up soon!
On wednesday midnight, I started to check out my semester 2's time table. Unfortunately, they arranged me to have class on friday. So, I'm trying to change it but somehow I can't because I want the tutor and his/her other time slots are full and no one moved out, then I have to accept the time, no choice! Overall, my time table is okay. I have only one class on monday, thursday and friday; I have 4 hours straight classes on tuesday =/
Went to chee fei's mummy shop to have lunch and have a meeting for the cross stitch key chains. Done with the cross stitch last week and now gotta make into a key chain. Need more eye energy, hand energy and patients. Will finish all of them by this week if possible, don't want to drag it so long as next week already a new semester and need to do a lot of preparations (can't think of any yet)!!
My semester 1's result has released around 6pm just now! Okay, my result was okay, all pass and no fail. I got distinction for accounting and management, credit for business&economic stats and microeconomics. I really thought I got high distinction for my accounting >.< and distinction for business&economic stats and microeconomies. All my expectations were 'out' haiz, but at least better than those who got failed. I feel so sad for them. For my friends who scored all HDs and those who nearly got full HDs, congratulations, you guys did a great job. I think I'll need your help hahaha..No worries, maybe because I have too much of distractions, that's why I didn't score what I want..It's okay, I will try my best and work hard for this semester and get a better result =P
Okay, will not think about it anymore. It's all over and I can't do anything to make my result to be all HDs though. Just telling myself, I already tried my best so nothing to be sad because sometimes it's all depends on our luck. At least all pass and no fail, I'm lucky enough, so don't demand and blame myself so much. Just look forward, don't look back...We have to go through hardships and failures then we'll only success..Hope I won't feel bad now =/
Stop all the depressing and emo-ing words! Should start a brand new life and semester like what kelly said. SMILE =D New goals coming up soon!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
I'm having a very normal holidays. 1 month neither long nor short. I have done nothing much during this holiday. I went out with friends for A movie, meals and did some shopping. Was planning to go to work but those company don't hire people who just work for a month and parents don't let me to work as a promoter. So, I just sit at home and doing things simply. Boring, rotting, growing mushroom (quote from faustina), onlining, dreaming, sleeping and etc..
Went to buddy training yesterday. It was a nice and fun one but tired. I need to get 10 newbies and bring them for campus tour. I'm alone taking care of them, wow! Hard..! Because they're adults like me and not children lol..Can't do and say anything wrong, if not, I'll get trouble lol..Also, I came to know that there'll be having an orientation bash in august and it'll be PORT DICKSON AGAIN!!!! Hahahaha....On the other hand, the food provided was not good, it made me feel uncomfortable, stomach upset, headache till almost vomit. Suffer huh..
I just don't know why I kept having nightmares these few days..What happen??!! LOL..Hope it'll be fine la..I need a nice and sweet sleep lol..Because I will feel tired if I don't sleep well >.< Need to sleep more as I'm worried that I will have to sleep late once the semester starts due to assignments.
Have a nice chat with my cousin who is newly known as in long lost la..Well, we're studying the same course, just that different university. We talked a lot about university thingy and his life in KL and so on, couldn't remember. Forgive me being a forgetful person, because my brain go rust after doing nothing for a month >.< Just offer him a ride or companionship, if he wanna come down for shopping and stuff, my parents or I myself can help him out..I wish I can go out to relax also =P
Am planning to watch Obsessed and Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince..Waiting for my people to confirm with me lol..
Time to sleep, tired huh =)
Went to buddy training yesterday. It was a nice and fun one but tired. I need to get 10 newbies and bring them for campus tour. I'm alone taking care of them, wow! Hard..! Because they're adults like me and not children lol..Can't do and say anything wrong, if not, I'll get trouble lol..Also, I came to know that there'll be having an orientation bash in august and it'll be PORT DICKSON AGAIN!!!! Hahahaha....On the other hand, the food provided was not good, it made me feel uncomfortable, stomach upset, headache till almost vomit. Suffer huh..
I just don't know why I kept having nightmares these few days..What happen??!! LOL..Hope it'll be fine la..I need a nice and sweet sleep lol..Because I will feel tired if I don't sleep well >.< Need to sleep more as I'm worried that I will have to sleep late once the semester starts due to assignments.
Have a nice chat with my cousin who is newly known as in long lost la..Well, we're studying the same course, just that different university. We talked a lot about university thingy and his life in KL and so on, couldn't remember. Forgive me being a forgetful person, because my brain go rust after doing nothing for a month >.< Just offer him a ride or companionship, if he wanna come down for shopping and stuff, my parents or I myself can help him out..I wish I can go out to relax also =P
Am planning to watch Obsessed and Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince..Waiting for my people to confirm with me lol..
Time to sleep, tired huh =)
Saturday, July 4, 2009
After being emo that day, I'm getting better these few days. I have few tasks need to be done before the new semester starts =)
I need to sew 15 snoopy's head to make as key chains for selling during CNS week. I have not been cross-stitching almost 4 years haha..My skill surely poor abit =P However, I enjoyed sewing haha..
Time passed fast, my semester 1's result will be out in 13 days, new semester will start in 16 days. Neither long nor short. I have to get prepared to start a new semester and hope for the best for my result. I want to do better in semester 2, get good results, gain more leadership skills and etc..Be a better person =) The most important things are good health as in do more exercise like gordon, be calm and relax when facing anything, be optimistic, balance my time, manage everything properly and so on.
Thanks to all my dear friends giving me supports, care and spirit while I'm depressing, sad and emo-ing. Without you guys, I think I can't stand up so fast, I appreciate that! THANK YOU =D
I left 1 more week to relax and holidays. After next week, it's gonna be the orientation week for july intake students. I have signed up to be the "buddy" to aid the students throughout the orientation week. On the 15th, I have to check my new semester's time table and might need to arrange a bit to make it more comfortable for myself. On the 17th, result will be out. I think I can check my result in the midnight 12am of 17th already. I guess my heart will beat till can fly out hahaha!! Hope for the best :D Then then then...Semester starts lo, I'm going back to the busy life where tonnes of assignments need to be done, catch up with tight datelines, need to be consistent for revision, organise Leo activities, counselling training and etc etc...Wow real busy but I will enjoy =P
Well, I'll only going out for 3days of next week. On monday, need to help chee fei's brother to do his psychology survey and help my friend on business stats because she's going to have exam next week =/ wish u luck woei..On wednesday, I'm going out with gordon and shien yin =) We will dinner together and will only movie with gordon because shien yin got piano class >.< It's okay! Haiz just feel a bit waste, when gordon and I broke up last time, and he always said was his bad >.< Don't worry, I won't blame you la, because I believe in you. I feel a bit sad when I know you'll be heading to US to continue studies, I'll miss you a lot..! No worries, we still have time to spend before you're heading to US and I might heading to australia too hmmm...On friday, I have buddy program training from 8.30am to 5.30...Walao, it'll be a long and tiring training, like working hour nia =.=
I need to sew 15 snoopy's head to make as key chains for selling during CNS week. I have not been cross-stitching almost 4 years haha..My skill surely poor abit =P However, I enjoyed sewing haha..
Time passed fast, my semester 1's result will be out in 13 days, new semester will start in 16 days. Neither long nor short. I have to get prepared to start a new semester and hope for the best for my result. I want to do better in semester 2, get good results, gain more leadership skills and etc..Be a better person =) The most important things are good health as in do more exercise like gordon, be calm and relax when facing anything, be optimistic, balance my time, manage everything properly and so on.
Thanks to all my dear friends giving me supports, care and spirit while I'm depressing, sad and emo-ing. Without you guys, I think I can't stand up so fast, I appreciate that! THANK YOU =D
I left 1 more week to relax and holidays. After next week, it's gonna be the orientation week for july intake students. I have signed up to be the "buddy" to aid the students throughout the orientation week. On the 15th, I have to check my new semester's time table and might need to arrange a bit to make it more comfortable for myself. On the 17th, result will be out. I think I can check my result in the midnight 12am of 17th already. I guess my heart will beat till can fly out hahaha!! Hope for the best :D Then then then...Semester starts lo, I'm going back to the busy life where tonnes of assignments need to be done, catch up with tight datelines, need to be consistent for revision, organise Leo activities, counselling training and etc etc...Wow real busy but I will enjoy =P
Well, I'll only going out for 3days of next week. On monday, need to help chee fei's brother to do his psychology survey and help my friend on business stats because she's going to have exam next week =/ wish u luck woei..On wednesday, I'm going out with gordon and shien yin =) We will dinner together and will only movie with gordon because shien yin got piano class >.< It's okay! Haiz just feel a bit waste, when gordon and I broke up last time, and he always said was his bad >.< Don't worry, I won't blame you la, because I believe in you. I feel a bit sad when I know you'll be heading to US to continue studies, I'll miss you a lot..! No worries, we still have time to spend before you're heading to US and I might heading to australia too hmmm...On friday, I have buddy program training from 8.30am to 5.30...Walao, it'll be a long and tiring training, like working hour nia =.=
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Went to pyramid and celebrate sien wei's birthday from morning till around 5.30pm I guess. Today is a day I really about outing so far.
First thing first, yoke fen and I went to kim gary and checked out whether we can bring in outside foods. So, the answer is "NO". Then, I suggested to meet han liang 1st as he told me that he already reached and waited at the cinema entrance. After that, a guy came to find us, named siew fai. After that, we walked around to find a birthday cake and bought sien wei present.
Edwin and sien wei came to us in a short while after yoke fen received a call from edwin. Han liang suggested to go redbox for karaoke, lunch and celebration. This plan was on =)I was looking forward to sing k again too hahaha...We sing sing sing till 3pm wow!!! That was awesome because I really enjoy singing today than I was with sabrina, sorry to say that. Maybe it's because the songs we chose and sing are matched LOL..Most of the songs are my favourite and can sing la of course haha..
Done karaoke session, the boys decided to go for bowling..At first, I really don't want to play because I have no skill with bowling and I have negative thinking of it. I was thinking I will follow the bowl rolled into the hole =P But by looking at the boys' playing, seems fun, edwin asked me to give a try and yoke fen decided to play a game at another lane so I shared with her. So, I gave myself a try on bowling =) Whoa, I think I have addict to bowling surprisingly haha..I wished I can have a bowling session again soon..!!! 3 more weeks to go, so I can spend more time on badminton, bowling, swimming and other sports, hooray!!!! I'm happy that I learned a new sport today =)
It was a tiring day but was fun. However, I'm back to the sad world now because I get scolded by parents due to long hours out there. I know everytime I go out, come back sure get scolded, considered used to it already. But I became very sad this time, I don't know why and it makes me think that I'm lonely and I'm bad @@ I just don't want to make myself to think about that and I know I have getting back to the sickness again, hate it!!! When can I go back the original me? The happy-go-lucky, take things easy and cheerful me? Where're you??!!!!
I just can't stand with this feeling anymore..Everytime I get into this feeling, I can't stop myself from thinking negatively and wanna cry. After cry, I will still feel the same although will feel better huh..Who can save me?? Help me get rid of this feeling??!!! Help me throw away this feeling to far far away, don't ever come back to me pleaseeeee!!!!!!! I feel that I have no cure to my depression and sadness..Why have to be like this because of all the incidence happen?? I wanna be a strong girl and not the fragile one huh...
Okay, I guess I'm getting emo already, have to stop here to avoid it to become an emo post which it is suppose a happy one. Anyway, I have enjoyed a lot today, thanks to you guys. Wish you all have a good start for new semester this friday =)
First thing first, yoke fen and I went to kim gary and checked out whether we can bring in outside foods. So, the answer is "NO". Then, I suggested to meet han liang 1st as he told me that he already reached and waited at the cinema entrance. After that, a guy came to find us, named siew fai. After that, we walked around to find a birthday cake and bought sien wei present.
Edwin and sien wei came to us in a short while after yoke fen received a call from edwin. Han liang suggested to go redbox for karaoke, lunch and celebration. This plan was on =)I was looking forward to sing k again too hahaha...We sing sing sing till 3pm wow!!! That was awesome because I really enjoy singing today than I was with sabrina, sorry to say that. Maybe it's because the songs we chose and sing are matched LOL..Most of the songs are my favourite and can sing la of course haha..
Done karaoke session, the boys decided to go for bowling..At first, I really don't want to play because I have no skill with bowling and I have negative thinking of it. I was thinking I will follow the bowl rolled into the hole =P But by looking at the boys' playing, seems fun, edwin asked me to give a try and yoke fen decided to play a game at another lane so I shared with her. So, I gave myself a try on bowling =) Whoa, I think I have addict to bowling surprisingly haha..I wished I can have a bowling session again soon..!!! 3 more weeks to go, so I can spend more time on badminton, bowling, swimming and other sports, hooray!!!! I'm happy that I learned a new sport today =)
It was a tiring day but was fun. However, I'm back to the sad world now because I get scolded by parents due to long hours out there. I know everytime I go out, come back sure get scolded, considered used to it already. But I became very sad this time, I don't know why and it makes me think that I'm lonely and I'm bad @@ I just don't want to make myself to think about that and I know I have getting back to the sickness again, hate it!!! When can I go back the original me? The happy-go-lucky, take things easy and cheerful me? Where're you??!!!!
I just can't stand with this feeling anymore..Everytime I get into this feeling, I can't stop myself from thinking negatively and wanna cry. After cry, I will still feel the same although will feel better huh..Who can save me?? Help me get rid of this feeling??!!! Help me throw away this feeling to far far away, don't ever come back to me pleaseeeee!!!!!!! I feel that I have no cure to my depression and sadness..Why have to be like this because of all the incidence happen?? I wanna be a strong girl and not the fragile one huh...
Okay, I guess I'm getting emo already, have to stop here to avoid it to become an emo post which it is suppose a happy one. Anyway, I have enjoyed a lot today, thanks to you guys. Wish you all have a good start for new semester this friday =)
Monday, June 29, 2009
Holidays still bored for me as I'm still helping my dad working =.= Those figures are like can't tally huh, I have rechecked it many many times..Forget it!!
I'm supposed to go pyramid with my friends today. At first, they said go for a movie and lunch but they called me and said don't want movie already huh, make the outing bored only haiz..I look at my purse and I realised I have not much money left as I need money for tansformers movie, Sien Wei's birthday present, new clothes and my textbooks huh..I have spent 40 bucks for lunch last week, damn expensive huh..So, I decided not to go.
I need to go out with yoke fen to buy sien wei's birthday present tomorrow, hopefully not that expensive la because I'm going to bankrupt already *touch wood*. I'm going to watch transformers with gordon, and waiting for sien wei, his frens and shien yin see whethere they wanna go anot..! On thursday, julian said he wanna bring me and other friends to 1U, hopefully my parents let. I'm going out with Audrey, my long lost primary buddies haha aka my neighbour for lunch this friday before she's going back to melbourne next week =)
Due to H1N1, I can't really go out haiz..Thought to have a nice holidays with all my friends this whole month *.* I think I will start watching the 15 anime dvds (7 shows)burned by my friend last week haha..
1. Honey & Clover
2. Honey & Clover II
3. Kyouran Kazoku Nikki
4. Chobits
5. Bokura Go Ita
4. Ouran Host Club
5. Hayate No Gotoku!
6. Shakugan No Shana
7. Shakugan No Shana II
I still have Nicholas Teo's 无敌三宝妹, AOD's 仁心解码 (psychology show)and other nice show haha...I think I'm gonna be tv addict already but nah not going to watch tv show so often once new semester starts LOL..
Really need to enjoy this whole holiday before back to the stressful, hectic and busy life haha..Friends, bring me out to have more fun la!!!!
I'm supposed to go pyramid with my friends today. At first, they said go for a movie and lunch but they called me and said don't want movie already huh, make the outing bored only haiz..I look at my purse and I realised I have not much money left as I need money for tansformers movie, Sien Wei's birthday present, new clothes and my textbooks huh..I have spent 40 bucks for lunch last week, damn expensive huh..So, I decided not to go.
I need to go out with yoke fen to buy sien wei's birthday present tomorrow, hopefully not that expensive la because I'm going to bankrupt already *touch wood*. I'm going to watch transformers with gordon, and waiting for sien wei, his frens and shien yin see whethere they wanna go anot..! On thursday, julian said he wanna bring me and other friends to 1U, hopefully my parents let. I'm going out with Audrey, my long lost primary buddies haha aka my neighbour for lunch this friday before she's going back to melbourne next week =)
Due to H1N1, I can't really go out haiz..Thought to have a nice holidays with all my friends this whole month *.* I think I will start watching the 15 anime dvds (7 shows)burned by my friend last week haha..
1. Honey & Clover
2. Honey & Clover II
3. Kyouran Kazoku Nikki
4. Chobits
5. Bokura Go Ita
4. Ouran Host Club
5. Hayate No Gotoku!
6. Shakugan No Shana
7. Shakugan No Shana II
I still have Nicholas Teo's 无敌三宝妹, AOD's 仁心解码 (psychology show)and other nice show haha...I think I'm gonna be tv addict already but nah not going to watch tv show so often once new semester starts LOL..
Really need to enjoy this whole holiday before back to the stressful, hectic and busy life haha..Friends, bring me out to have more fun la!!!!
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